An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhoea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, “What the heck is going on here?”
The drunk, still staring down replied: “I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost.”
The haircut turned out great but I didn’t take any pictures yet. The reasons I put up with a three hour drive was that my hairstylist is conveniently located in my parent’s hometown. A visit was long overdue and so I got to mix business with pleasure.
We got there late on Friday night and the appointment was early Saturday morning. No lie-in for me but three hours later I came out with a whole new hairdo, waxed eyebrows and tinted and permed eyelashes. I didn’t even know you could get a perm for your eyelashes. Being naturally blonde my eyebrows and lashes are hard to detect. That is the reason why I have them dyed and if I haven’t got the time for that I use Mascara, without which I never leave the house. Back to the tiny perm. As I said I had no clue you could have a perm and it turned out beautifully. My eyelashes make my eyes look much bigger now. As for the actual haircut I had about 4 inches cut off and I got a fringe and layers. I also had it dyed blond and dark blond streaks. The hubby loved it. My Dad – well not so much.
It is funny what women do put up with when it comes to their beauty regime. It always reminds me of Seinfeld, who said:
“I know I will never be able to understand how a woman can take boiling hot wax, pour it on her upper thigh and rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid
of a spider.”
Sometimes I don’t even think about the pain anymore. Maybe it is just me but I sometimes feel I am spending way too much time waxing and plucking and ripping out every little hair on my body when some men still run around as if their closest relative was a bear. Anyone else thinks it this weird sometimes?
Back to the hair and the requested proof. Pictures are soon to come. I don’t really have the time to blog right now. I do however check all of your blogs for my daily fix. We had a friend visiting from Prague who stayed with us and we were out last night. Tonight I am going to pack our suitcase before we are heading off to Ireland on Wednesday straight after work. I can’t wait. If I get the time I will post updates from our trip.
This weekend I will get my hair cut. I got the last available appointment with my favorite hairstylist this Saturday. It will be at 8am. Yes AM.
I was really lucky to get an appointment after all. I only made that appointment a week in advance and at that time you normally can’t get anything for love nor money.
I did notice the quizzical expression on my hubby’s face. He cannot understand why I can’t just go and find a hairstylist here and why women have a close relationship with their hairdressers. I for one am happy and contend with the girl that does my hair. She does a great job dyeing it and she cuts it exactly the way I want it. She is quick, she doesn’t do small talk and I always leave being fully satisfied.
I am hesitant to go to a hairdresser here. Although I am sure there are some very able ones among the hundreds of stylists in our area, it is just that it takes me ages to find someone that a) doesn’t chew my ears off making small talk, b) is quick and c) does exactly what I asked her/him to do. I found that hairdresser a long time ago and we have a respectful, trusting relationship. I know it won’t cost me an arm and a leg. I will go and see her whenever I get a chance. Which is not always easy with us living about three hours away.
The whole experience is something I like very much. You get there and it is as if you’re in a totally different world. It smells nice, the atmosphere is relaxing, you get great coffee and the head massage. I mean whoever would give you a head massage like this. It is almost too much. If I wasn’t already married I would have to propose right then and there. It is an almost sexual experience.
Are you just as peculiar about the chosing your hair stylist or is it just me and my friends. I sometimes think I should just try something new. Be daring but then I always chicken out.
Anyway, this is what I am looking forward to on Saturday morning more about the weekend to come once it is over.
Filed under: Funny clips
Das neue Video von Nils Heinrich, müsst Ihr Euch ansehen. Total genial.
Today’s post was inspired by my friend Renata, who at the age of 36 looks like she is in her early twenties. If I wouldn’t like her so much I would hate her with a passion just because of that *lol*. Just the other day she wanted to play the lottery and was asked for an ID. They thought she was younger than 18. So unfair. But Renata takes it all in her stride and she is cool. Cool as a breeze. She is heavily into Martial arts and kicks ass in sports as well as real life. She is also a little caffeine junkie. Now the email she sent me this morning almost made me lose control over my bladder and water come out of my nose.
She got home in a hurry and didn’t have a minute to spare before heading out the door again and go to practice. She thought being a woman and a capable one at that, it would be a brilliant idea to multitask. So she put her stovetop Espresso maker onto the stove, ran into the shower and as it was the first cold day since summer, she had put the heating on earlier. Now you know how it smells a bit weird after you turn the heating on for the first time in months. She got out of the shower and thought it smelt a bit too weird to just come from the radiators. So she went to see what her coffee was doing. Only the espresso maker sat there doing nothing while the plastic bowl holding oranges on the backburner had melted into lava-like blue melting bubbles.
Pretty funny and also pretty damn stupid and dangerous at the same time.
I have a similar kitchen accident to admit. I had cooked pasta and was draining it in a plastic sieve. Before I arrange the food I usually put the sieve with the pasta back onto the pot so the residue water can drain. So I did that. Arranged the food on the plates, we left to eat in the dining room. Only did I forget to turn off the stove that I had put the pot back on. It was a gas burner. Ten minutes into dinner it started to smell like burnt plastic and I ran into the kitchen to find the rest of the pasta, the sieve and the pot nicely melted together in one huge lump.
What was your worst kitchen nightmare?
Filed under: Maunzerl
Glaubt man es, nun hat es mich doch noch erwischt und ich habe einen Schnupfen. Lilly ist von Ihrem Schnupfen und nach drei Tierarztbesuchen mit drei Spritzen gerade erst wieder genesen, schon niese ich. Die beiden Dosenöffner machen sich natürlich Sorgen und ein wenig sorge ich mich auch. Ich meine wer klingt beim Niesen schon gerne wie eine Quietscheente. Denn genau so klingt es wenn mir der Rotz mit Hochgeschwindigkeit aus der Nase fliegt.
Mama hat mich heute Morgen ausführlich gestreichelt, dabei habe ich immer wieder geniest und nun habe ich heute um 17:30 Uhr einen Termin bei unserem Tierarzt. Ich bin ja mal wirklich gespannt was das werden wird.
Ich werde Euch auf dem Laufenden halten und versuchen der Lilly aus dem Weg zu gehen. Gut, das ist nichts wirklich neues aber ich wollte es mal gesagt haben.
Euer
Maunzerl
Filed under: Randoms
As I was sitting on our couch enjoying the sunshine flooding in our precious birddogcat jumps up and pees right on the couch. Not just a few sprinkles either but a full-on, steady stream of pee. Needless to say I was not pleased. I had forgotten that I had put the laundry in the dryer which incidently is in the guestbathroom where the cat’s litter boxes are. They are scared of the rumbling noises of the dryer and it seems birddogcat had to go really urgently.
Normally I watch out that the cat’s have access to their loo at all times and when I put the laundry in both cats were sound asleep. Unfortunately birddogcat woke up a mere 7 minutes before the dryer was done. Bad timing. I ran for a bucket and a cloth and sprayed it with Febreze afterwards. I hope to have gotten the worst off and it wont start to smell but we will see about that once it has dried entirely. Anyone has a tip what to use on catpee? Any suggestions are more than welcome.
Thank God it’s Friday. I haven’t had a minute really all day so I haven’t been able to post anything yet. So we went to the grocery store after work and when we got home we made dinner. We had Spaghetti Bolognese. It is simple to make and I can prepare it in my sleep plus it is so very yummy and done the Weight Watchers way.
Now we are cozy on the couch watching the cat sitting a mere 10 inches from the screen watching The Fast and the Furious. I guess she is a Vin Diesel Fan. Yesterday we realized that our little cat is retrieving her toys. Though I have to say she has very few toys that we bought. She just finds random things in our appartment that she can busy herself with for hours. The other day she found a cable tie and she’s been dragging that thing all over the place. She brings it to us and we throw it. She goes after it, kills it with her hind legs and proudly brings it back to us. So funny. I just realized that we haven’t posted any pictures of the cats in a while but the little one has grown so much she weighs about five and a half pounds now.
The hubby seems to come down with something so I put him into a hot bath and sent him to bed. I hope he won’t get sick.
Anybody got any idea what I could make for dinner tomorrow night? I’d like to surprise my hubby with something nice that is not too time consuming to prepare. I should maybe add that he isn’t into fish or seafood. I do cook almost every night and I do make things from scratch with fresh ingredients but somehow I seem to have run out of ideas.
Filed under: Maunzerl
Glaubt man es? Es geschehen noch Zeichen und Wunder. Gestern Abend, es war schon spät und ich dachte, ich leiste dem Holger Gesellschaft im Bett, denn Frauchen war noch im Wohnzimmer, als plötzlich die niesende Lilly reinkommt. Sie springt aufs Bett, wo ich schon liege, faucht mich kurz an, dreht sich um und legt sich nur eine handbreit von mir entfernt nieder.
Herrchen hat versucht Frauchen zu rufen ohne uns zu verscheuchen. Und Tatsache, Frauchen kam, holte ein Kamera und hier ist der Beweis. Die drei Hanseln friedlich in einem Bett vereint. Vielleicht besteht ja doch noch Hoffnung, dass Lilly mich irgendwann akzeptiert. Naja die Hoffnung stirbt ja bekanntlich zuletzt.
Außerdem gibt es hier Bilder von mir beim Bloggen. Ich bin eine echte Computerkatze.
Ich hab auch einen neuen Lieblingsplatz im Badezimmer gefunden.
Lilly macht vielleicht verrückte Verrenkungen beim Putzen.
What newssites do you read first thing in the morning? I have noticed that apart from checking all my favorite blogs and my emails I visit more or less the same old sites in pretty much the same order every f*****g day.I usually start of with Spiegel online- a weekly German news mag that has a great website
Then I move on to The Times
website before I head to the gossip blogs
Perezhilton.com
Of course my reading may vary and as I said I spent time on checking my emails and all the blogs I heart.
Let me know what morning read you can’t do without and whether you are just quickly checking in or if you are enjoying a cuppa coffee with it.
